The Irregulars
by OneDarkandStormyNight
Summary: One-shots of nonsensical adventures, written by dear, adorable friends of mine I like to call my little Irregulars. Please read inside for details.
1. Author's Note

**I want to make it clear that the following stories are NOT MINE, but are the product of a group of hard-working young Holmesians who have eagerly listened to many a Sherlock Holmes tale.**

**As I mentioned in the Author's Note of Dinner at Simpson's (see Tales of Random on my profile), I have been telling stories (unofficially) to a group of youngsters for two years now. This year the stories have been about Sherlock Holmes; naturally, I was at first skeptical about my idea for telling them "old-timey" stories, but they have made me so happy by falling in love with our dear Holmes and Watson and their adventures!**

**In fact, believe it or not, they have gotten so excited about the stories, they have each named themselves according to the characters! They make me laugh hysterically because each of them actually look like Holmes, Watson, Lestrade, etc. **

**We were debating one day on who I should be (there aren't very many well-known female characters), and I recited to them A Scandal in Bohemia; when the story was over, they looked at me and said, "Your name is Irene Adler, because you're so smart you could outsmart Sherlock Holmes too!"**

**Needles to say, I don't believe they're right *giggles*, but it was the sweetest thing I've ever heard, and so I now answer to Irene as much as my own name, since they nearly refuse to call me anything else. (I would have made my penname Irene Adler, but it was already taken *sigh*.)**

**The first story will be the original manuscript they gave to me, and the second will be the same story edited by me, just in case you could figure it out.**


	2. Dustin Lestrade

_Okay then…story 1..._

_Dustin is Lestrade in our little London world, and so he grew so sick of his brothers (who pretend to be Holmes and Watson) always getting all the credit. :)_

**The Cannibals**

**By Dustin, aka "Lestrade"**

One day Dr. Watson, Sherlock Holmes, and Inspector Lestrade, were in Africa looking for clues in a power sander* Cannibals left behind them and they found there hiding place were they hid from there enemies then Sherlock found something shiny they went to see what it was it was a gold coin and when they picked it up a cannibal jumps out and eats Sherlock, and Dr. Watson and then Inspector Lestrade shots him and they are saved and then he killed 1000 of them with a sowred and a gun and that was not easy for him because he about got ate by the chif whos name was Chif James he killed him by his bear fist when they went back to London they told every one exept Irene and they never for got that day and Inspector Lestrade still had that gold coin and then he found silver coin and he was rich that day.

**The Cannibals**

**By Dustin, edited by Rin**

One day Dr. Watson, Sherlock Holmes, and Inspector Lestrade were in African looking for clues; they were driving a power sander, and cannibals were chasing them!

Holmes saw something shiny that turned out to be a gold coin, but when he leaned down to pick it up, one of the hostile natives jumped out and tried to eat both him and Dr. Watson!

Inspector Lestrade was too quick for him, however, and shot him before he could devour Holmes and Watson. They thank him for saving their lives, but they soon realize there are hundreds more surrounding them!

Inspector Lestrade killed one thousand of them with only a sword and a gun; this was not easy for him, because he also had to carry Holmes and Watson while doing it.

Just when they were almost free, he nearly was eaten by the chief of the tribe whose name was Chief James. To Holmes' disgusted amazement and Watson's shock, Lestrade killed him with his bare hands!

When they returned to London, they never told everyone they knew (except Irene).

They never forgot that day, and Inspector Lestrade still has that golden coin; later that day he'd also found a silver coin, and he was rich!

*a type of four-wheeler…I know, but he insisted that they be driving one, even though I informed him they were living in the 19th century!

* * *

_I realize it's not exactly perfect, but he is only eight, and I thought it was quite creative! Please review, for Dustin's sake, not mine! I want to be able to tell him people enjoyed it greatly! ;)_


	3. Dustin, Lestrade 2

_Another from Dustin…Please review!_

**The Egyptian Mummy**

**By Dustin, aka "Lestrade"**

One day Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson, and Lestrade walking in egypt they heared something groaning in a pyramid they went to see what it was then a mummy got Sherlock Holmes, and Dr. Watson, and Lestrade pulled out a gun and shot him and killed him and he saves the day and found 100 gold coins and 1000 silver coins he was a million air that day.

**The Egyptian Mummy**

**By Dustin, edited by Rin**

One day, Sherlock Holmes, Dr. John Watson, and Inspector Lestrade were walking through an arid Egyptian desert, in search of Kalu, a ruthless Egyptian who had stolen no less than one hundred gold coins and one million silver from the Egyptian Museum.

They followed a trail of odd, scuffling footprints all the way up to an eons-old pyramid, where they heard a strange, croaking sound coming from inside. Holmes, before either men could stop him, crawled through an opening in the sandy-coloured stone.

Watson and Lestrade wordlessly looked at each other, sighed, and anonymously decided they had best follow him, or else, with his unfailing curiosity, he just might activate a desecration curse or do something of the like - there had to be some reason the Egyptian government had forbidden entrance into the tomb.

Sure enough, just as they entered the main corridor, there was an alarmed outburst that echoed throughout the empty rooms.

Watson and Lestrade both dashed toward the direction of Holmes' shout, only to see their detective friend about to be torn apart by…you guessed it, my dear readers…_mummy_!

Before either Watson or Lestrade had the chance to react, the mummy also grabbed Watson!

It was then that Lestrade grabbed his revolver, aimed perfectly, and fired right at the mummy's linen-wrapped head!

Lestrade had saved the day, and the Egyptian government was so pleased, they gave him the 1,100 gold and silver coins as a token of their gratitude!

Watson laughed. Holmes scowled. And Lestrade never let the latter forget the day he saved them, for the _second_ time.

* * *

_Yes, I do realize it's not possible to kill something that's been dead for millions of years, but he did write it in ten minutes, so I believe he did fairly well. More coming soon!_


	4. Dustin, Lestrade 3

_So yesterday, Dustin once again treated me with another of his awesome stories. The first story below is the unedited one that came straight from his nine-year-old hands, and the second is the version I spruced up a bit (in case you couldn't understand Dusty's little-kid grammar *haha*).  
I remember someone asking me if these stories actually are written by little kids, so I'll just say it now: Yes, they come from the 1__st__ through 4__th__ grades of my private school (mostly from Dustin—he's a kid after my own heart *biggrin*). Trust me, I don't think I'm talented enough to run all my sentences together they way they can.  
And please, please, please—Dustin _loves_ when I read his reviews to him, so REVIEW! Do it for the kids!_

**Lestrod's Dog  
Original Version  
by Dustin, aka "Lestrade"**

One afternoon Lestrod and Sherlock were walking down the street when all the sudden they heard some cring they looked around and they saw a German Separd Lestrod said lets take it home so they did and it it was good the first two months and then all the sudden he started barking at people that went by the coach. One day the dog attacked Sherlock so Lestrod killed the dog with his shotgun. So they went to the pound and got two dogs about a week old it was a golden retrever and a blood hound. Sherlock got the blood hound and Lestrod got the golden revrever. There names were Marley and Sarge the golden retriever's name is marly and the Blood hound's name is Sarge they had the dogs all there life and the dog life and wattson got a rotwiler and his name is butcher and Irene got a golden retrevier and its name is max. If your wondering why there was not any action I just wanted to have a story of peace. P. S. I am not a tree hugger.

**Lestrade's Dog  
Edited Version  
written by Dustin, aka "Lestrade;" edited by me, Rin**

One afternoon, Lestrade and Holmes were walking down a street in London when, suddenly, they heard a faint whine. They looked round themselves and saw a neglected German shepherd.

Lestrade said, "Let's take it home."

So they did, and for the first two months, it was a good dog. Then, without warning, he started barking at people that walked by the couch where he liked to lay. One day the dog even attacked Holmes! So Lestrade was forced to kill the dog with his shotgun _(er…revolver. *hehe*)_.

They went to the pound and got two new dogs, both about a week old. The new animals were a golden retriever and a blood hound. Holmes took the blood hound, and Lestrade the golden retriever. Their names were Marley and Sarge; the golden retriever's name was Marley and the blood hound's name Sarge. Holmes and Lestrade had the dogs all their lives and all the dogs' lives.

Watson also got a Rottweiler named Butcher, and Irene bought a golden retriever named Max.

If you are wondering why there was not any action, I just wanted to have a story of peace.

P. S. I am not a tree hugger.

* * *

_And there you have it, folks! Another epic tale from the vaults of the BCS Irregulars!  
_

_Anyway, I hope you liked! And please leave a review for Dustin!_

_Also, two things: 1. Did this story make you laugh as much as me? Seriously, I was sitting at my desk, giggling at the most serious part of class while reading this for the first time. Watson got a Rottweiler…*wipes hysterical tears and attempts to somber up* You'd have to know this cool kid, seriously. 2. Irene made a surprise appearance in the above story for the simple reason that yours truly has been designated Irene Adler by the BCS Irregulars, and I happen to have a fat golden retriever named Max in real-life who is, presently, sitting at my feet and begging for the doggy dinner he already ate an hour ago..._

_*ahem*_

_Anyway, I hope you liked. And please leave a review for Dustin!_


	5. Dustin, Lestrade 4

_This is a gift made with little hands by Dustin, to __**reflekshun**__, who requested a story with a flying carpet involved. He sends hugs to you for reviewing, dear!  
PS—Note the beauty of his sentence structure, the one looooong sentence. *LOL*_

**The majic carpet  
Original Version  
by Dustin, aka "Lestrade"**

One day Lestrod was walking in Egypt and all the suddun he heard someone say carpets for sale he turned around and he bought one because he had a dirt floor he layed it down then he walked to his room and layed down the next morning he walked out side once he steped on the majic carpet it flew him out the door and it whent wild and lestrod could not do anything the string got cought on a point and the majic carpet disapeared all there was, was string the end.

**The Magic Carpet  
Edited Version  
written by Dustin, aka "Lestrade," edited by me, Rin**

One day, Lestrade was walking in Egypt and all of the sudden, he heard someone say, "Carpets for sale!" He turned around and he bought one, because he had a dirt floor. He laid it down, and then he walked to his room and laid down.

The next morning, he walked outside. Once he stepped on the magic carpet, it flew out out of the door and it went wild. Lestrade could not do anything! The string got caught on a point and the magic carpet disappeared. All there was left, was string.

The End


End file.
